I know this is probably not the place but I know I am amongst many other Christian's or believers in god, and maybe someone can help me get some footing on this.

So lately I've been really trying to connect with god, I've been reading the Bible, praying, talking with god and trying to build a stronger relationship with him. I've always been a Christian but there's been a long long while in my life where I definitely put that on the back burner and just lived my life. Even been intrigued by dark or magical type things. Which never in an evil way but very spiritual, always looking for answers but not in the right places I guess you can say??

Anyways I've been reading the Bible and listening to sermons praying almost any time I catch myself worrying or feeling anxious, really trying to rely on god and allow his will to be instead of me stressing about everything, asking for guidance and grace, and to help me be a better Christian to serve him a better mother a better person etc, and I've felt so much more at peace. It's an adjustment because I haven't done it since I was a young kid, but I try to really catch myself in my old habits and turn to god instead.

ANYWAYS! My son is sick right now I couldn't sleep last night because of it, around 2am I fell asleep, I honestly don't remember much at all of the dream but it was me professing my love To the lord and I believe I was trying to help someone who was under attack or trying to spread the love from god to someone else. I just remember this LOUD LOUD horrific music in my head it was like opera singing but evil sounding and it was the scariest part of the dream because it was like in my head and my ears in real life but I was sleeping. Then for some reason I ran outside the home I was in and three black demons were flying or floating whatever in the sky and one was the actual baphomet. I remember being twrrified and calling to god to protect me and I was rebuking them and screaming I belong to god and to leave me alone. Finally I woke up thank god, and it was THREE AM! Like what?!! That scared me so bad even worse. And I had just the most anxiety ridden feeling that something was in my house I couldn't get comfortable nothing I put on tv calmed my nerves I kept praying to god To keep his protective hands over me and my kids and remove evil from our home and any way they could attach to us. But I swear it felt like something was just behind my back no matter which way I was laying I think I prayed for almost an hour straight. Then finally when 4am came it felt totally fine like it was SO WEIRD! And I was able to fall back asleep Around 4:30 but begged god to protect Me in my sleep and keep me from having such evil nightmares because I have never ever experienced something so chilling. Then when I woke up for good this morning I felt completely drained and my head felt so funny like I'm not sure if anyone's been on anti depressants but like that laggy head feeling when you haven't taken your medicine yet. It was just so weird. I really feel like it's a demonic attack because I wasn't close with god and I wasn't necessarily devoting my life to him or trying to be godly I just figured he'd see I have good intentions on life and always forgive me, but now I want more and I want to be a more devoted Christian and live in his eyes and I want my kids to know him And live in his eyes as well. I just feel like this time we are going through in this world is so evil and uncertain that I want the evil side to see I will never be a soldier for them and I will never be complacent, and I feel like now is the time To get right with god and the fact that maybe my spirit wasn't locked down as much maybe made me not so much of a target but once you try to get close with god this could be a scare tactic to keep you from getting too close? Maybe it was just a crazy nightmare but I have NEVER experienced anything like this.

If you've ready this all then thank you so much and if anyone had any advice or similar stories I'd love to hear them. Not sure it's the right place For it but I know I'm amongst great honest god fearing people as well!

I want to be more brave about my beliefs, and more open. Why are the left allowed to be so loud about what they believe but if a conservative or even just someone with different beliefs disagrees, you face consequences with the Karen's? I live in a blue area UGH, trying to move, i am a hairstylist. I work in a salon with mostly liberals from what I've gathered. I can't STAND sitting around listening to the pc bs they spew. I wouldn't actively engage in conversations about politics because it does no good and won't change their mind. HOWEVER. I am finding it dreadful to take myself to work anymore because 99% of my clients are liberals and loud about it. For some reason they assume I'm liberal as well. I don't necessarily want to talk politics with my clients but I am so sick of working on liberals. I love what I do but it's killing my passion to work on people I can't stand and our morals don't align.

Recently a liberal coworker suggested changing mens and womens cuts to long short or medium hair cuts 🙄 she probably hates me because I still call my "clipper cuts" mens cuts, and I always will. And I absolutely refuse to use anyones pronouns especially if I can tell they're a tranny. I want to refuse service to them truthfully. I know this would get me fired even though if someone refused service To a conservative being so blunt they would probably be rewarded. And I know being more open about my beliefs will isolate me and probably push me out of the salon eventually. It actually already happened, and I was 7 months pregnant when she fired me 🙂

Really I'm just ranting because I feel like the shit is so overwhelming and I can't stand living in this area but the world is so expensive right now and I can't afford yo get to a red area yet, I know once I can move and work on likeminded people or not loudmouth liberals who push their byllshit on everyone my passion will come back. But man I will see names on my books and want to just call in because I know who that person is, and just trying to make small talk is daunting when I know how opposite we are.

The tranny flags and rainbow shit and drag queens are all just really getting to me. I'm sick of this being shoved down my throat and I don't want to conform I don't want to abide by these made up rules, but since I work with the public and live in an extremely blue area, I just feel like I'm compromising my beliefs and my spirit is suffering.

I'm so sorry for this word vomit but it's hard holding this shit in every day and doing my best to support my family and trying to paint a happy face but knowing I just don't fit in and don't want to fit in with these people let alone touch them and work on their bodies and share energy with them for at least 30 minutes!

Another thing that's been weighing on me lately I have literally like 3 friends in this town and in high school had ONE. I keep seeing people I went to school with that I remember trying to fit in with and they were such fucking weirdos that I never understood why I couldn't make friends with all these different groups and what was wrong with ME, but seeing these people now realizing they're extreme lefties, it makes sense. And I remember being in high school and someone making fun of me because I didn't believe in abortions or something? I don't know how they knew that because I never talked about that but it's just all clicking now as a 30 year old woman, why I never fit in anywhere in this town and how much happier and safer I would feel in a red area. If anyone has read all of this thank you, my personal diary post of the day that nobody cares about but I needed yo get it off my chest!

One day when they are screaming about being tranny and proud I want to scream about how there's only TWO GENDERS and not fear losing my job.

Symptoms started last night, no time to wait for the pills to get delivered. I'm confused as hell about the dosage though, and how much i should be taking a day. I am about 200lbs right now, what's a safe dosage plan look like?

I've searched the boards for posts and found lots Of charts and stuff but my brain doesn't compute especially with this pounding headache. Anyone kind enough to just explain it for an idiot with a caveman brain??

ETA UPDATE: so As the day has gone on my symptoms have gotten waaaay worse, like when I got it the first time around. Feel like I got hit by a train! Took my infant son to the dr because he's super lethargic and had a 102 fever, hasn't been acting himself and it was super scary. Turns out it's Covid. His dr said it's definitely what I have also. I couldn't find any horse paste in my town? Very weird. So I called dr Stella which is who my dad goes through and accidentally spent $470 that I can't really afford but I also feel so bad so much sooner than I did last time around so hopefully the hydroxycloroquine and everything else gets here soon. Anyone have any experience? My dad has some Hydroxychloroquine on hand just in case but he thinks I will be fine til Friday which is when she predicted it come. He also got hospitalized last spring and they almost intubated him. Sent him home with a horrible prognosis and he's been prophylactically taking hdq every since and hasn't really gotten sick since then with anything more than a mild cold. I hope I didn't waste $500 for nothing in biden’s economy, u can't even buy a meal for less than $50 right now and that's on the cheap end. Sorry I'm just terrified I have two young kids/babies and I am overweight and have asthma and how fast this hit me and how bad it is is really scaring me and I can't even mother my children properly. This just SUCKS!!

Have any of you watched the American rescue dog competition show on Hulu? I was watching with my toddler today and was thinking it'd be a cute innocent thing. Then once the dogs start coming out I notice they start using THEY THEM PRONOUNS FOR THE DOGS?! Like what?! Even after they clarified what the dogs gender was and already called the dog a he or she! When will it end ☹️