In French, I love children => J'aime les enfants. Proper pronunciation is Jem Lays On-fonts. Very close to James Alefantis. Hidden in plain sight!
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Fact Check: False Comet Ping Pong only has nine stairs to its under level and thus has only a cellar. By definition in the American Builders Code there must be ten steps to qualify as a proper basement. /s This is the lunacy they use