I just can't do it anymore. I go to bible study and we talk about the little evils that people struggle with every day. You would think, I would benefit from a women's bible study about "The Armor of God". But it very hard to care about the study and about all the little struggles we normies deal with when so much true evil is in the world. I also LOATH zoom. I want to do things in person and I just can't seem to get into a distance bible study.
I want to talk about satanists murdering babies. I want to talk about how Covid is a lie instead of pretending to be concerned about people catching a cold. And yes God forgive me I have lost my empathy for them. She asked me why I didn't continue and what I focusing my time on. And I told her about murdering babies and drinking their blood. I told her about Satanist in powerful positions.
She insisted that she had looked into that decades ago and knew all about it and that she could not deal with it so decided to do focus on the people around her and her life and to not deal with the stresses of these things. I get that. I understand that. And I can't do that right now. I just hung up on her. All she did was convince me I should not go and she was trying to do just the opposite.
The fact is that she is RIGHT! There is nothing we can do. It is all in Gods hands so I really should be going to that study and serving my neighbors. I just can't right now.
Nothing wrong with taking a break. Jesus himself took time to be alone. Use some time to meditate on the word yourself. If you are drawn back to the same group, that's fine: you will return renewed, perhaps with a different focus. If your heart draws you somewhere else, be true to yourself. If your group is deep into Ecclesiastes and you want to study Revelations, you decide. You can still be friends with all of them.
Remember that you would forgive any of your friends for taking a break; you should extend that same forgiveness to yourself. Jesus certainly does, even if you make a mistake.
Personally I have found inspiration from YouTube videos of Kim Clement, and also the pastors Kent Christmas and Dutch Sheets. But YouTube and zoom have limits. In-person time with friends is irreplaceable, and good for the soul. God bless.