This is how I feel lately, too. Due to many factors, I spent much of my life directionless, didn’t put down roots, never started a family, lived a fairly insular life and didn’t plan well for the future.
Over the past few years as I transition to middle age, that had begun to change. For the first time, I felt grounded. I began to live life with purpose. I realized that living in urban/suburban areas was one of the largest sources of stress in my life, so I moved to the country and finally bought a house. I had started to come out of the shell and make an attempt to be social and participate in my community. Then 2020 came along and pulled the rug out from under me.
I finally had a plan, I had a direction, and then suddenly it seemed meaningless. Anything and everything could be taken from me at any moment and there would be nothing I could do about it. I’ve always been hugely skeptical and never accepted things at face value, but I never felt compelled to dig deeply. I never trusted the system, and just tried my best to ignore it. Suddenly, that was no longer possible. It was time to take the red pill.
I had never experienced faith in my life. I was always agnostic, or maybe just plain atheist. As the situation in our nation and our world became more dire, I found that beginning to change. The past couple months, while I still feel enraged at all of the injustices we’re seeing so blatantly committed, I’ve begun to find peace.
They say there are no atheists in a foxhole, but I don’t feel like this is faith borne out of desperation. Perhaps I am grasping at the final shreds of reason in a world gone insane, but it feels more like I am realizing that while these people are truly evil, their influence over me is purely mundane. They can exercise, or attempt to exercise dominion over my physical body, but my soul can not and will not be surrendered unless I allow it.
I will not allow it. I choose instead to stoke the ember of faith until I find a higher sort of red pill; until my faith is absolute. I will find the way, or die trying.
Faith will protect their souls. 2A is all we have to protect our physical bodies. I think our first duty right now is to do right by ourselves and those closest to us. No single one of us can bear the weight of the world or stand up to the evil in it. We need to stay true to ourselves, to each other, and to God. I spent most of my life focusing on myself without staying true, ignore my impact on others, and denying God. If nothing else, you sound like you’re ahead of me in most of these regards.
This is how I feel lately, too. Due to many factors, I spent much of my life directionless, didn’t put down roots, never started a family, lived a fairly insular life and didn’t plan well for the future.
Over the past few years as I transition to middle age, that had begun to change. For the first time, I felt grounded. I began to live life with purpose. I realized that living in urban/suburban areas was one of the largest sources of stress in my life, so I moved to the country and finally bought a house. I had started to come out of the shell and make an attempt to be social and participate in my community. Then 2020 came along and pulled the rug out from under me.
I finally had a plan, I had a direction, and then suddenly it seemed meaningless. Anything and everything could be taken from me at any moment and there would be nothing I could do about it. I’ve always been hugely skeptical and never accepted things at face value, but I never felt compelled to dig deeply. I never trusted the system, and just tried my best to ignore it. Suddenly, that was no longer possible. It was time to take the red pill.
I had never experienced faith in my life. I was always agnostic, or maybe just plain atheist. As the situation in our nation and our world became more dire, I found that beginning to change. The past couple months, while I still feel enraged at all of the injustices we’re seeing so blatantly committed, I’ve begun to find peace.
They say there are no atheists in a foxhole, but I don’t feel like this is faith borne out of desperation. Perhaps I am grasping at the final shreds of reason in a world gone insane, but it feels more like I am realizing that while these people are truly evil, their influence over me is purely mundane. They can exercise, or attempt to exercise dominion over my physical body, but my soul can not and will not be surrendered unless I allow it.
I will not allow it. I choose instead to stoke the ember of faith until I find a higher sort of red pill; until my faith is absolute. I will find the way, or die trying.
I think you’ve got it right.
Faith is the only way forward.
Faith will protect their souls. 2A is all we have to protect our physical bodies. I think our first duty right now is to do right by ourselves and those closest to us. No single one of us can bear the weight of the world or stand up to the evil in it. We need to stay true to ourselves, to each other, and to God. I spent most of my life focusing on myself without staying true, ignore my impact on others, and denying God. If nothing else, you sound like you’re ahead of me in most of these regards.