It's sickening, really. I'm sure I'm not one of the only ones of Gen Z who browses these boards, among others, but it's difficult not to start dooming. Our schools are putting up plexiglass between desks, our teachers parrot the state-approved propaganda, most things are closed here or require us to "socially distance," so mostly everyone spends their time force feeding whatever self-destructive narratives are being pushed through pop culture and social media.
If that's not enough, the few people who do understand bullshit is going on don't think much of it because there's so much apathy in Gen Z and people don't really understand that we're living in a time where mass catastrophe is completely possible. They can't fathom it, because of how good we really have it, but everyone has been forced into lockstep with this sort of savior complex, following the whole "being oppressed, anti-white" dogma because they think that it puts them on some sort of moral pedastal. They teach things in the classroom masked as apolitical then tell us we need to identify with it so we can "find out who we are" and fight for justice. Most just care about what rappers are getting out of jail, how many attention points they can fit into their basket, or are ripping their hair out and screaming at the sky because they can't figure out which fucking gender they are, or some bullshit like that. More boys are being demasculinated and are directionless and disenfranchised in terms of growing up to be men, more of the girls are running to OnlyFans as soon as they can and feel entitled to acting promiscuos, which is being encouraged ontinuously.
It feels like I'm in NPC Headquarters. The only thing that's been keeping me sane besides trying to educate myself with books or exercise. I don't really know how long that'll last.
I read your post, and then peoples' responses, and your responses to their responses. I am convinced enough that you are serious about this, and am also pleased at the quality of responses you are getting. But I will add my perspective, in case it is useful.
I grew up best at X, best at Y... ahead of my peers in a lot of things. I was fortunate to have two parents who were (and are) together, and in all other aspects a great home. I had teachers that, back then, were still trying to teach things. All of that I know is extremely rare, these days. Sadly.
And I also avoided the dumb pitfalls of drugs, or at least most of them.
But I also had a challenge in feeling connected, feeling fulfilled, "fitting in", and realizing my potential.
What I learned is that a constant search for knowledge and truth is for me the only way. I will run it down. I will not stop. I will read, and read, and read some more. I will watch videos, listen to podcasts, read new books, read old books, learn other languages, learn to use my hands to build and fix things, solve complex problems, etc.
Have a bias to read.
Be very protective of your mental state and learn to recognize immediately when something is "tugging" on that state, and how to "return to center". Learn about how manipulation works. Perhaps you could start with Richard Bandler. Or even Scott Adams.
If you wish to explore believing in YHWH/Yeshua/"Jesus", please do do that. Reading the Bible is only going to improve your perspective, and it might save your soul. I am not qualified to answer that question.
But equally you can learn a lot from Lao Tzu, Siddhartha, Sun Tzu, Musashi Miyamoto, etc.
Read Marcus Aurelius and do as he says. His book "Meditations". Do it today.
And you can learn a lot from history and in looking for the connections, overlaps, "sounds like"s and "rhymes with's.
Read also how to be an American, by reading Locke, Paine, etc., and books about our Founders, Andrew Jackson, Teddy Roosevelt, Calvin Coolidge, etc.
And read about your enemies as well. Marx, Engels, Antonio Gramsci, The Frankfurt School, Woodrow Wilson, FDR, Saul Alinksy, etc.
And try to get out into nature as often as you can. More nature walks = a better you.
If I have seen further, it has been by standing on the shoulders of giants. - Sir Isaac Newton.