I'm very uncomfortable getting into this but it seems necessary. If anyone else who was abused as a kid has helpful things to share, please do.
Here is a quote from this thread https://greatawakening.win/p/12hkP1a817/-usa-gymnastics--systemic-sex-ab/c/4Dx6Dc5ryXZ
"It is the RESPONSIBILITY of the parents to oversee and protect their children.
There is ZERO excuse for not being aware.
And you are an absolutely shitty parent if your child will not confide in you that they are being sexually abused."
This is so, so wrong. If you are a parent who believes your child will tell you what you need to know in order to save them from something, you are likely wrong. If you think you keep them safe by keeping a close eye on them, you are wrong. If you think because you are close, you will know if something has happened... nope.
Please take it from someone who lived it from the abused child's perspective. All it takes is someone knowing the right threat to say to your kid, and it will not matter how responsible you are as a parent. It won't matter how wonderful you are, how much time you spend together, or how close an eye you keep on them.
Do not assume your kid will tell you! That will not make your kid safe! Do not assume you can protect them! That won't make them safe, either! It doesn't matter how badass you are. Kids are prey. Period.
Your kid has to be the dangerous one. I'm serious. No one will approve, but fuck them. Self defense by age 3. Don't coddle your little girls, thinking you will protect them. Make sure they know they get to choose themselves. They get to cause harm if someone wants to do x,y, z.
Talk about threats your kids may hear. Dont hold back. Dont protect them from that, either. Dont think they're too young to hear it. If they are old enough to go to a friend's house, or walk down the street alone, or take lessons from anyone... they need to hear it. And you need to shock them, then explain how you would deal with those threats.
Teach them body autonomy from a very young age. They don't have to let a doctor examine them if it isn't an emergency, they don't have to let uncle Fred hug them, they don't have to accept that kiss in the cheek. They get to be shy and guarded.
I'm telling you, I had an amazing family. Wonderful, responsible, extremely protective. We were very close. But still. None of us were prepared for me to hear the threats I did. The evil ones are fucking creative in that regard.
You are 100% correct. My parents did everything you listed. There was a predator in our family. I was allowed to say “no” to hugs at family events and exercises that right. I heard my mom be stern with a family member when they said I was being bratty for not hugging an uncle. It made me feel protected. It didn’t stop my mom from walking in to find someone “help my sister rinse off from the pool” sans bathing suit, at 4 years old. My mom said it took 15 mins of my sister going to get a popsicle inside before she went to look for her. That quickly. That fucking quickly. House full of family, dozens of people around and he was so brazen. Every one of my cousins fell victim but me. Child predators should be eliminated on site. Use the “can’t change your sexual preference” shit against them. If your preference is illegal and deplorable, and can’t be changed, death or life in prison, period. There is no recovery.
That is such an excellent point (and tactic) you mentioned about sexual preference. Bravo.
Say that to a gay person and their eyes bug out. People start doing mental gymnastics trying to say why one is definite and one can be rehabilitated.
You are 100% correct. Don't trust anyone else to make sure your kids are safe when they are not with you. NOT ANYONE, because you could get the ultimate disillusionment in life of thinking your love and cherishing of your kids and your protectiveness was enough, then find out people you thought you knew, were twisted, and deceivers. You find out a large percentage of people are monsters, where children are concerned. What a sad reality it is. The most endangered species on Earth is our children. That is why the awakening cannot fail. God help us succeed.
The most endangered species on earth is our children.
Wow. What a poignant statement.
OP you make so many good points. Since parents can't be with their children all the time, it's so important to talk to them frankly (in an age appropriate way) and let them know that it's okay to say they don't like something and that you as their parent will always back them up. Sometimes they may feel they need 'permission' to defend themselves, which in itself is sad. But if they need to feel empowered to tell someone no, or don't touch me or get away from me, that you as the parent will always, always have their back.
Thank you for posting this! Your points are dead spot on!
The flip side of saying that parents are horrible if something happens to their children, is that many parents will be shamed into keeping silent and not reporting. Isn't that a convenient way to shut down negative/legal consequences for pedos?!
Their agenda is quite clear. Protect the pedos at all costs. SMDH.
Again, thank you for posting this.
Great advice in this thread, thank you all for sharing tough experiences. Our schools and sports programs are full of these shit people too. We must be viligant and assume no where is safe and talk to our kids to know what to do.
I try to be very forward with my kids about what people are capable of doing to them. They kind of laugh because they’re young and don’t fully understand. But that’s ok with me, I’d rather be upfront with them and blunt. Not the most comfortable conversation but it has be talked about. I don’t know the specific statistics but the percent of kids who never tell anyone is a whole lot higher than you’d think. Thank you for posting this and sharing your story. That’s not an easy thing to do.
I'm gonna give the same advice on self defense that a half crazy ex-Marine (aka my dad) gave me. Share with your kids.
There is no fighting dirty, just fighting smart. A fair fight is one you could lose. If you're in a fair fight, your tactics suck. You can hit them below the belt, but most guys are aware of that. They guard themselves. Don't let that be your only weapon. Go for the eyes. Jam your thumb in as deep as it'll go. If you can grab a pencil or pen, go for the neck. Keep a good grip on it so you can pull it out and hit them again. The more holes you can put in them the better. If they cover your mouth bite them. Be a bulldog. Bite down until you taste blood, then bite harder. You can break fingers too. Even a big tough guy will scream like a girl when you twist his pinky sideways.
And this is from me, not my dad, because it's more prevalent now. Piercings are a point of leverage. If you see a big dangling chunk of metal, grab hold, twist, and pull.
I’m having a daughter in a few months and I’m TERRIFIED of anything bad every happening to her. My parents did what they could to keep me safe, and I was still molested by a teenage neighbor boy at age 7. It has messed me up for life. I will never allow male caregivers, family or not, to be with her unsupervised. That’s my big one
THANK YOU THANK YOU for this post. Part of the whole reason for Q is to stop these evil people from the harm they cause children. This needs to be discussed more so people can see and learn how it works so that we can protect our children from these absolute monsters. I am sometimes quite naive, and I can be too trusting of people sometimes. This helps me to keep my eyes open more. And that is a gift. Maybe the mods can permanently sticky this. It needs to be learned and understood.