I'm very uncomfortable getting into this but it seems necessary. If anyone else who was abused as a kid has helpful things to share, please do.

Here is a quote from this thread https://greatawakening.win/p/12hkP1a817/-usa-gymnastics--systemic-sex-ab/c/4Dx6Dc5ryXZ

"It is the RESPONSIBILITY of the parents to oversee and protect their children.

There is ZERO excuse for not being aware.

And you are an absolutely shitty parent if your child will not confide in you that they are being sexually abused."

This is so, so wrong. If you are a parent who believes your child will tell you what you need to know in order to save them from something, you are likely wrong. If you think you keep them safe by keeping a close eye on them, you are wrong. If you think because you are close, you will know if something has happened... nope.

Please take it from someone who lived it from the abused child's perspective. All it takes is someone knowing the right threat to say to your kid, and it will not matter how responsible you are as a parent. It won't matter how wonderful you are, how much time you spend together, or how close an eye you keep on them.

Do not assume your kid will tell you! That will not make your kid safe! Do not assume you can protect them! That won't make them safe, either! It doesn't matter how badass you are. Kids are prey. Period.

Your kid has to be the dangerous one. I'm serious. No one will approve, but fuck them. Self defense by age 3. Don't coddle your little girls, thinking you will protect them. Make sure they know they get to choose themselves. They get to cause harm if someone wants to do x,y, z.

Talk about threats your kids may hear. Dont hold back. Dont protect them from that, either. Dont think they're too young to hear it. If they are old enough to go to a friend's house, or walk down the street alone, or take lessons from anyone... they need to hear it. And you need to shock them, then explain how you would deal with those threats.

Teach them body autonomy from a very young age. They don't have to let a doctor examine them if it isn't an emergency, they don't have to let uncle Fred hug them, they don't have to accept that kiss in the cheek. They get to be shy and guarded.

I'm telling you, I had an amazing family. Wonderful, responsible, extremely protective. We were very close. But still. None of us were prepared for me to hear the threats I did. The evil ones are fucking creative in that regard.