Asking for a friend.
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There is a time and a place for death. This is not it. Make time to truly treasure the good things in your life. Make peace with your past. You don't live there anymore. Find something to be excited about. Be yourself. Play. Eat well. Get outside. Know you are loved. Strengthen yourself with help if you need to and get ready to help kick some commie butt. Prayers lifted. Stay strong fren.