Long story short, my brother in law lives across the street. We live in NJ. He says he’s very concerned about coronavirus. His daughter and wife have pre-existing conditions. I totally get it. However, he tries to police everyone else. “You don’t care about my family because you aren’t doing things the way i think you should”. This includes him watching out his windows and creeping on his cameras and calling us out when our kids get too close to the other kids when playing, or if I inadvertently shake a neighbor’s hand while saying hello out in the street (yes, it’s like that). We are taking reasonable precautions, but we aren’t totally cucked. This has been going on for a year. His parents and sometimes my wife are enablers for him. They’ll say things and all but there’s never any consequence to his actions. He’s done and said some pretty mean very disrespectful things about this all. Even calling me “a fucking asshole” because I got the virus last year, from going to work to keep my bills paid. This is only the tip of the iceberg. This dude claims it’s about concern for his daughter, meanwhile he lets her go into the gaggle of kids playing “too close” outside.... lets her play for a bit, then comes over to pull her away and make a scene that no one is wearing masks and social distancing. Or he’ll let her around all of us who he says “I can’t trust you with the covid precautions”. Then complain that he can’t trust us and pull all this other watchdog shit. Sounds more to me like someone who just wants to trap people into shit he can complain about (which was pretty typical of his BS even before covid. I’m somewhat venting here, and I apologize. But I don’t really have anywhere to turn about this. Everyone around me and involved basically says “He’s over the top and shouldn’t act like that, but it’s ok because he’s only trying to protect his family”. Drives me up a wall!! I’m not a confrontational person, and I’ve given him/them the be if it of the doubt for this past year, but it’s really starting to affect our lives and more importantly our kids’ lives in a negative way and it’s causing problems between myself and my wife (who is finally starting to see it for what it is) and my in laws. For me personally, my family is basically not in the picture and these people are really my only close family and they do a lot for us. I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. Anyone else have to deal with a similar situation? How are you getting through it without blowing up on people and damaging relationships?

-Sorry for any misspellings. Typing on a rush on my phone. I’ll try to fix whatever I find.

Additional Info: There's no avoiding this guy. My in laws are all so close, there's no way to cut him out, or get away from his BS. Also, there's no talking to him about anything ha already "knows".. He's stubborn as a mule. I'm not really trying to even be friends. But I have to get along to get along. My in laws are literally involved in every aspect of what we do, and now, with this, every decision has to pass the test of whether or not it' something he can start shit over or not. Fucking blows!!