1. Thou shall worship Dr. Fauci and any other government health expert
2. Thou shall obey the lockdowns, they are for your safety
3. Thou shall wear your mask, always, even in your car
4. Thou shall socially distance, standing exactly six feet apart, unless otherwise indicated
5. Thou shall quarantine and self-isolate whenever necessary
6. Thou shall obsessively wash your hands and disinfect all surfaces
7. Thou shall do everything possible to protect grandma, even if it means never seeing her again and her dying alone
8. Thou shall follow any mandate, no matter how inconvenient, as long as it could save one life
9. Thou shall peacefully protest when called to do so, permission to temporarily disregard commandments 2-8 is granted
10. Thou shall only shop with Amazon, Walmart, and almost any multinational corporation
11. Thou shall never question the mainstream media, they never lie
12. Thou shall take the vaccine, it is our salvation
13. Thou shall strike down any selfish heretics who do not follow these commandments, there is no forgiveness

These are the 13 commandments. Your compassionate gods have spoken. Go out into the world our children (but not too far!). Save us from COVID. We are all in this together. That is all.

Bonus commandment: Thou shall never travel, unless absolutely necessary, we must stop the spread