Not sure how long you've been battling alone or if you still are battling alone. If you are married, probably don't tell your wife, because that is destructive at first and there may be a time later on that she can be let in as you get healthier. Find Godly men who are strong in faith & become accountable to them as a brother. You need a network of men who will pray for you, pray with you, cry with you. Find the energy deep within your heart and soul to ask God for change. Ask him to change your heart. Keep asking, pray without ceasing. God will deliver. I would not be alive most likely, and I damn sure would not be married with two children if God didn't intervene from above. He is real & he provides if we ask and if we come to him with a humble heart.

I will be praying for you anon. The longer you avoid temptation, the stronger you become. Guilt & Shame hold no power over you in the eyes of the Lord.

God didn't create us to be slaves to our passions. Judging by your post you know these things or there exists some amount of them already in your heart. The time for action & obedience is now. Put on the armor of God and ask him to stand by your side during the fight. If you are married, He will heal your marriage & if you are not, He will provide all that you need. Trust him above all things & he will make your paths straight. I've seen this over the last 6 to 8 years of my life. It is a battle, it is not easy, but I promise it is worth every loss to walk with the Lord & feel his presence in your life.

Praying for you soldier. Never give in & never give up. You were created for much more, never forget that.