I'm a former recovering pornography addict and I've been fighting my imaginations and failing miserably to fight my passions and I fear my ever drawing closer to backsliding and I'm too embarrassed to bring it up to other Christians and I've found nothing but love and encouragement on this board. Please someone pray for me? I've been caught in the lust of the flesh and I just feel broken and cast down and feel the desire to hang in the towel. My failure of self control has left me contrite and ashamed and I don't know where else to go. I can't see how Jesus can have patience on me when that's a sin I used to be a repeat offender in and I've slipped quite a bit these past few months with no one to confide and confess to. Not the physical act of porn but the imaginations and self gratification and masturbatory nature thereof. It's an addiction I've been very open with with fellow believers in my circle but given my recent slipping backwards I'm just too ashamed to say it to them. Forgive the shitpost please. I just don't even feel Jesus wants to put up with me anymore. Which I know is a lie but when you fall into sin it's hard to believe He can forgive an offense been forgiven before. Apologies if for any unsightliness I may have caused by sharing.
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I may get attacked for this, because a lot of people on here hate Catholics, (I know why, but I'm not abandoning my faith because there are bad people in it, just like I won't abandon the USA because there are bad people in it), but truly, you need to head to confession. Confession is like a mini-exorcism, it rids you of any and all demons that may have a hold on you, tempting you, whispering in your ear, or sending images to your mind. Yes, they have that power, but the power of Jesus and God's forgiveness is far more powerful. Confession can lift the weight of the sin off of your soul and lift you higher to Jesus.
I also struggled with lust, not necessarily with porn, but with temptation and sins against the 6th commandment. The only way I started to remove the chains was when I FINALLY went to confession after 3 years of avoiding it. I felt SO LIGHT and SO FREE, I felt ready to cry. I could feel the love of Jesus pouring into my heart and embracing me with a warmth I'd never felt before.
I fell to temptation again, but every time I made sure to go to confession again, and every time I felt renewed to succeed, and currently I've finally decided, for the last time, that I'll stumble no more. Jesus wants me to win, and I don't want to let Him down.
Having a special devotion to the Virgin Mary and to a little saint, Saint Maria Goretti, is what gave me the courage to move forward. Praying the rosary every day is the only thing that kept my mind off of temptation and it brought me closer to Jesus because I meditated on the Mysteries of His life.
I will pray for you. Good luck. And remember, God will never give up on you.
And just another note, nice to see a fellow Catholic on here. :) St. Philomena and St. Joseph are my go-to’s when I’m struggling!
Thank you for speaking up, I'm glad to see another Catholic too. St. Joseph always helps me feel safe too. In this age of masculinity being attacked it's nice to run to a holy man who embodies all the beautiful aspects of masculinity. St. Joseph Terror of Demons Pray for Us!
Indeed! St. Joseph, pray for us!
I also wanted to say something about that- the power of confession truly is a gift that is so helpful with an addiction like this. It is pride and listening to Satan that keeps us from running to Jesus with our sins, recognizing that He, having fallen many times physically on the way to Calvary, loves us all the more when we rise spiritually from our falls into sin. The other gift of the sacrament of confession is that you know that the priest (standing in the place of Christ, with His permission to forgive sins) is bound by the seal of confession and will not repeat your sins to any living soul. You can have anonymity if you want, and to hear the powerful words, “I absolve you of your sins,” is a powerful motivator. As long as you desire to do better, Jesus forgives. It is not an easy struggle to live with, in this sex-crazed world. But know you are not alone, OP. Prayers for you to find strength to rise again, and remembering that Jesus wants to help you up when you fall.
Thank you, sibling. God bless you in Jesus name, amen
Not sure about you, fren, but I certainly am not perfect. Only God is. Therefore, when I fall, because I am a human and make mistakes and sin, it’s better to run to Jesus than to hide from Him out of pride of admitting my sins. It’s because I know that He’s already paid the debt of my sins in full and, like He does with the lost sheep, He searches me out to return me to the fold. And Jesus Himself gave the priests the power to forgive sins in his name. “Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them.” We are meant to be sorry for our sins and to ask forgiveness. Blessings to you.