I'm a former recovering pornography addict and I've been fighting my imaginations and failing miserably to fight my passions and I fear my ever drawing closer to backsliding and I'm too embarrassed to bring it up to other Christians and I've found nothing but love and encouragement on this board. Please someone pray for me? I've been caught in the lust of the flesh and I just feel broken and cast down and feel the desire to hang in the towel. My failure of self control has left me contrite and ashamed and I don't know where else to go. I can't see how Jesus can have patience on me when that's a sin I used to be a repeat offender in and I've slipped quite a bit these past few months with no one to confide and confess to. Not the physical act of porn but the imaginations and self gratification and masturbatory nature thereof. It's an addiction I've been very open with with fellow believers in my circle but given my recent slipping backwards I'm just too ashamed to say it to them. Forgive the shitpost please. I just don't even feel Jesus wants to put up with me anymore. Which I know is a lie but when you fall into sin it's hard to believe He can forgive an offense been forgiven before. Apologies if for any unsightliness I may have caused by sharing.
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I actually pray with a notebook. I'm not a man with good verbal command.. kinda like Paul. I can write far better than I can speak, i.e. the texting age if I can give praise for any reason regarding such, God has blessed me with plenty of writing practice. I'm not sure however where that fits in serving God in Jesus. Thank you for mentioning it though, you're not the first to say that writing is a gift God has given me. Thank you and I'll be certain to devote more time to writing.
..."where that fits in serving God in Jesus" I think that we serve god by using the gifts we are given. Writing about your stuggles and your relationship with Jesus, to me, is serving, by helping others in theirs. As an example, the responses to your posting here seem to be exceptional. We all have our stuggles and you can serve as a guide to others, in my opinion.
That pierced my heart, sibling. Knowing that by some glimer of hope, my failure would spurr my fellow Christians to better love is an astounding thought. It near brought a tear to my eye. I'd be lying if I didn't say I feel petty useless at times to Jesus Christ and the Gospel so to know that any bit of my failure and confession spurred the brethren to love and grow in Jesus Christ then it makes my heavy heart light to know my thorn isn't for nothing.
I may begin to write little things that come to my heart as the Holy Ghost leads me to. If by chance in some way my walk with Jesus Christ may benefit another that would just be amazing.
Thank God for not abandoning me and thank God for Him demonstrating HIS love in people like you and all the other pedes on this board.
God bless you in Jesus name, sibling.
There ya go ! I have a niece who has had a pretty rough life. She began to work with other women in many different settings. She has a deep spiritual belief. She now uses her life experiences and the experiences of others , whom she has helped, to write "romance" novels. She finds it very cathartic .She has a huge following and each book lands on amazons best seller lists. Just as an example of using our gifts for others.
Thank you, sibling. Thank you for yielding to the Holy Spirit. It would seem you have a gift at discerning gifts. I hope you yourself use that to God's will too. In Jesus name, amen