I have seen one story of a lactating mother whose baby died when it was the father who received the vaccine

I have not seen this story, but I doubt the babies death is vaccine related. Nevertheless, a proper autopsy should be done.

My wife believes me paranoid that the vaccinated are going to start dropping like flies.

The effect of pathogenic priming may cause a few deaths, but I don't think it will be as bad as some fear (or as bad as I feared). There was a report that came out that put the death rate at less than 1% (it was insufficient data to be conclusive but it was something). If true, while thats actually quite a few people, its not that bad on the scale of the entire population (I.e. it could be way worse).

I also think it's probably not worse than that 1% because if it were, we would likely already know.