The power of fathers is undeniable. In Life Without Father, Dr. David Popenoe writes, “Involved fathers—especially biological fathers—bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring.” Research continues to pile up proving this; 82% of father-involvement studies since 1980 have found “significant associations between positive father involvement and offspring well-being.”
Children with strong, active fathers do better. This shows up in surprising ways. For example, there is evidence that a father’s overall fitness (not the mother’s) is the best indicator of a child’s future physical health. We see similar correlation in the area of academics, in vocabulary, and even in spiritual condition.
Back in '03, Robbie Lowe wrote a helpful article in Touchstone on the Importance of Fathers to Churchgoing. In it, he explains:
"In 1994 the Swiss carried out an extra survey that the researchers for our masters in Europe (I write from England) were happy to record. The question was asked to determine whether a person’s religion carried through to the next generation, and if so, why, or if not, why not. The result is dynamite. There is one critical factor. It is overwhelming, and it is this: It is the religious practice of the father of the family that, above all, determines the future attendance at or absence from church of the children."
But doesn’t the mother’s influence matter? Lowe comments:
"In terms of commitment, a mother’s role may be to encourage and confirm, but it is not primary to her adult offspring’s decision. Mothers’ choices have dramatically less effect upon children than their fathers’, and without him she has little effect on the primary lifestyle choices her offspring make in their religious observances."
Even long before scientific studies, churchmen knew the straight connection between fathers and the well-being of their households. J. Alexander, for example, preached that:
"There is no member of a household whose individual piety is of such importance to all the rest as the father or head. And there is no one whose soul is so directly influenced by the exercise of domestic worship. Where the head of a family is lukewarm or worldly, he will send the chill through the whole house."
There is no chill like the cold reality of a fatherless home. Its icy effects are sobering. In his book Fatherless Generation, J. Sowers reports that children from fatherless homes account for:
63% of youth suicides 71% of all high school dropouts 71% of pregnant teenagers 85% of all youth who exhibit behavior disorder 85% of all youths sitting in prison 90% of all homeless and runaway teenagers etc
As a father goes, so goes the household. And as the household goes, so goes society. The benevolent presence of a father results in a more orderly and fruitful life. His absence, whether by distance or abdication, results in disorder and chaos.
The great need of our age is a revival of fatherhood.
First off, thank you for the post. It is spot-on.
My dad died before I turned 16. My mom was incapacitated by our loss, extended family dissolved because my dad was everyones rock, my brother (few years older than me) moved out. I had no guidance.
In stepped my neighbor who my brother and I worked weekends for since we could push a lawnmower. He was laid back but wouldn't accept slacking, when we were on-the-clock we had to be doing our best work, when we were given a task he was always patient and willing to teach us how to do it properly.
When I graduated high school, he hired me at his company. Gave me a company car, budget, and taught me how to sincerely listen and interact with people as an adult.
Needless to say I messed that all up by getting drunk and totalling the company car. The hardest decision that I ever made was to call myself into the police and report the crash. The next morning, I called him and told him what happened. We didn't speak for a year.
Fast forward 15ish years, he lives across the country from me but any time that I need advice, he picks up the phone. Any time he comes back to town, he gives me a heads up and my family and his go out to dinner and spend hours talking.
Without my dad raising me, and my old boss stepping in when my dad died, I'd probably be in jail or dead. I would have never found the love of my life and have the best daughter. I'm doing my best to follow in the footsteps of the men who taught me. Without their imprints in the dirt, I'd be lost and not know what direction to go.
It doesn't need to be your biological father who shows you the way, just a man who loves you and wants you to succeed.
You were sent an angel across your path, greatly blessed. A good, kind mentor is a huge help in such circumstances. Fortunately, I had a wonderful dad until we were parted when I was young and a mother like older friend who taught me a lot. Very blessed.