''Several freak gusts of wind blew the ship on a dick course through the canal, flabbergasting all onboard who had temporarily taken leave of their collective senses and were admiring the cock on the radar. This collective phallus gazing was responsible in part for the 12 knot acceleration and subsequent lodging of the Ever Given for which we are Ever Forgiven''.
Release from the NIST Investigation:
''Several freak gusts of wind blew the ship on a dick course through the canal, flabbergasting all onboard who had temporarily taken leave of their collective senses and were admiring the cock on the radar. This collective phallus gazing was responsible in part for the 12 knot acceleration and subsequent lodging of the Ever Given for which we are Ever Forgiven''.