While in a meeting with HR to get the paperwork, I brought up The Binding of Isaac and how it was a story of faith that ultimately offers the moral of how one should never be made to sacrifice one's own flesh to prove allegience to a higher authority. I was sneered at and told "that's a real stretch".
I get the feeling nothing is going to be good enough for these God-hating goblins, but I'm going to be researching throughout the week anyway. Any help would be appreciated.
Find a lawyer. This is th best route when going up against a company's mandates. Even for a religious exemption.
Working on that at the moment. I've sent messages to a couple of firms that offer vaccine exemption as a service, but haven't heard back yet. I assume it's in hot demand at the moment.