Which direction to go ??
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You can't hide crypto safely up your ass in the event of an emergency. The answer is clear.
Bananas 🍌?
Why would you want to hide anything in your ass tho? They just stick their hand up your ass and look around for whatever you're hiding in there. Crypto can be hidden in your brain,and it doesn't even has to be a key/phrase, it can be a location where you know that you can find that key, i.e a page and line in a book (all you need is a copy of that book) or similar.