One of the casualties of the last election cycle was a near forty year friendship that blew up rather spectacularly a few months before November. Insults were given (I held my temper and only received), and when I tried to resolve it a few months later, I was rebuffed.

At some point, I began the mourning process, but underneath the grief was also ANGER. I had told myself that when tempers cooled, we could work things through.

It’s now been almost a year. I’ve written several emails that I never sent, and finally tonight picked up the phone.

I very politely explained our friendship hadn’t ended over politics, but over the insults. I was asked why I had waited to bring this up all of these months later, and I pointed out I had tried to resolve it with a “we need to talk” email that had been responded to once with “not now” and never brought up again.

My friend tried to focus on political concerns. I returned the conversation to the insults and attacks on my character. My friend said he didn’t want to talk anymore, and I ended the conversation with “and that is why we aren’t friends anymore” as I hung up the phone.

I feel so much better. It’s like a weight has been lifted. Having someone attack my character in order to minimize my credibility is not what friends do, and while I believe in the value of forgiveness, I don’t need to subject myself to that level of abuse.

Loyalty is important; attacking my integrity is not the actions of a loyal friend.

Cutting the ties that bind should not have been that simple. I wonder why I waited so long to do it?