One of the casualties of the last election cycle was a near forty year friendship that blew up rather spectacularly a few months before November. Insults were given (I held my temper and only received), and when I tried to resolve it a few months later, I was rebuffed.
At some point, I began the mourning process, but underneath the grief was also ANGER. I had told myself that when tempers cooled, we could work things through.
It’s now been almost a year. I’ve written several emails that I never sent, and finally tonight picked up the phone.
I very politely explained our friendship hadn’t ended over politics, but over the insults. I was asked why I had waited to bring this up all of these months later, and I pointed out I had tried to resolve it with a “we need to talk” email that had been responded to once with “not now” and never brought up again.
My friend tried to focus on political concerns. I returned the conversation to the insults and attacks on my character. My friend said he didn’t want to talk anymore, and I ended the conversation with “and that is why we aren’t friends anymore” as I hung up the phone.
I feel so much better. It’s like a weight has been lifted. Having someone attack my character in order to minimize my credibility is not what friends do, and while I believe in the value of forgiveness, I don’t need to subject myself to that level of abuse.
Loyalty is important; attacking my integrity is not the actions of a loyal friend.
Cutting the ties that bind should not have been that simple. I wonder why I waited so long to do it?
I have prayed to be around, no surrounded, by followers of Christ. By those who outwardly say they love Jesus and worship Him. I have taken the actions, some placed before me, and have received such people. Just a few days ago I was told by a church member, of the most recent church I’ve been attending, that because I talk to much... that I will be ran off. How interesting. Because I walk up to strangers, stick my hand out to greet them, and speak my mind..I’ll be ran off. Now I don’t pay much mine to this, as how my character is, you’ll have to burn the place down around me to get me to leave anything. I’ve never been pushed or shoved out of anything I wanted to go too. Am I used to being surrounded by enemies, yes. But it’s different this time. I’m here for God. My Father in Heaven has lead me to this place for a reason. And that place being any place..(GAW, church, store, job), He knows my character, my heart. He knows I’m a natural to be confrontational. Perhaps that’s why God has lead me to this church. I pray to be used by God. Use me in any form you see fit Lord. I can’t wait.
And like OP here. “Why did I wait so long?” Its because the Lord knows when to use us. There’s no telling what your former friend feels now. Perhaps what burden or weight you carried for a year, just got passed onto them. So be ready one day for your call. Maybe your friendship will be stronger one day again. I’m glad to hear stories like this. Confrontation is very much needed nowadays. It’s sometimes the only way to get peoples attention. But let them make the mistakes. Keep as much love in your heart as you proceed. Let them break the “rules”. It’s character building friends. 👍