I'm so sorry for your loss my friend. One piece of wisdom that was passed on to me when I lost my husband was this: The loss of a spouse is like no other loss. As painful as any loss can be, the relationship with a spouse is particularly difficult because couples live very intertwined lives. Every choice, action, decision of your everyday life has always been in tandem with a spouse in very small, unnoticeable ways. In my case, my husband was always the one to save twist ties. And to buy Band-Aids. Such inconsequential things until six months after your loss when you need a twist tie and there aren't any. And you cry. There's a reason terms like "other half" or 'better half" are commonly used.
As you navigate grief this might help you understand why this feels different from losing your parents or grands or siblings etc. It is different.