If they get to cancel Christmas, we should cancel their blood-worshipping satanic playdate.
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SAVE KIDS FROM TOOTH-DECAY HOLIDAYS
Sorry, kids, we've decided Christmas has become too commercial and all about candy and toys instead of being about Jesus only, so that's out.
And we've decided Halloween has become too commercial and all about candy and costumes instead of being about Satan only, so that's out.
And while we're at it, we've decided Easter has become too commercial and all about candy and rabbits instead of being about Jesus only, so that's out.
Those are also the three most important dates on the Satanic Calendar, so they're out.
Wheee