THIS JUST IN (CCPAP) - Resident Numbnut pedophile Joe Biden has been retroactively promoted from Bumbling Leftist Idiot Taking Humbrage (to) Everything Red-Pilled (BLITHER) to Senile Commie Retard of Unfeigned Stupidity. While no actual voting took place - which was consistent with his campaign to steal the Presidency from Greatest President Ever Donald J Trump - Biden's repulsive and public pedophilia, his failed record as a representative of US citizens, his inane attempt at handling US foreign policy, his incoherent gobbledegookspeak and his idiotic promotion of globoleftist agenda to destroy the US and control all of mankind were tabulated and ranked among current and past morons within the US "government."

Biden ("Fuck Joe," as he is unaffectionately called by the general public), was promoted to this position in perpetuity, as there is clearly no way in Heaven or hell that he will ever rise above it. Asked for comment, Biden mumbled "Dogfaced piano berrzagidork in the banana patch Trump. C'mon, MAN!"