Christians, Please don’t downvote comment if you upvoted post.
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Stop striving to be. You'll never make it. God promises you'll never impress him or be righteous enough. The Bible compares our righteousness as dirty rags, a menstrual cloth. It disgusts God.
You can't trust in a baptism, you can't trust in your ability to stop sinning, you can't make yourself "clean" to approach Him, none of that. Trust completely in the blood and that God raised His Son from the dead, defeating death, and nothing else.
You'll get born again, God's Holy Spirit will live inside of you, and His Spirit being in you will cause your mind and life to become more like him. He did the work to justify us 2000 years ago, but he does the work to clean up our lives AFTER we trust fully in the blood via the Holy Spirit.
All sinners know they sin because God gave us each a conscience. Con = with, science = knowledge. The problem is no sinner can stop sinning on their own.
Don't worry about changing yourself drastically or anything. We're to rest in Jesus's finished work. Jesus said to come to Him if you're heavy-laden and weary, and that his yoke is easy and burden light. It's so much easier and you'll have peace. I hope you find it!