I found out from a friend's post that Kyle is not guilty, said friend couldn't understand how he was not guilty when he killed two people. I tried to explain to him but he ended up blocking me (this was all on FB don't crucify me it's how I stay in contact with a lot of people who are far away). I am pretty upset about this because he has helped me out a lot with guidance when I have been in bad spots mentally.
I think my BPD (borderline personality disorder) is effecting my judgement on this because I truly feel that it's my fault. I feel that I am a bad person for being overly opinionated and I should just stay quiet. I feel like I am losing more and more friends every day as well. This one hit harder than most and just makes me want to change who I am as a person.
That is 100% accurate to how I think a lot of times and it sucks because it's like even sometimes hours later I regret my decision to cut them off and then want them back in my life. Thankfully over the last year I have been able to curb that behavior with just keeping it to my thoughts as I said feeling I just shouldn't be outspoken or speak anymore and not going out and saying "well I guess that's that then and we will never talk again".
I think for now I am going to leave it with what I said and in a week maybe reach out again to him.
Thank you, it wasn't easy at all and took a lot of work to get here. I definitely wouldn't be the way I am without my current priest, he helped push me to change and supported me a lot.