Hi I am sorry to post this here. I have absolutely no skills when it comes to gardening or herb growing. In fact I am not the out doors' type of person. I hate getting dirty and I hate bugs but in this day and age I need to become independent away from big box stores, grocery and the poisonous products they sell not to mention what they do to our produce. If there is anyone I can PM to ask some questions to that would be great. I don't want to clog up this board with my inabilities to be self sufficient but this is the best place to ask people as I know there are many skilled people on this forum.
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I don't grow herbs, but I grow tomatoes, various types of fruit trees, and rare tropical orchids. The main comment I feel I should make, after reading your post, is to trim back your expectations a bit. There's simply no way you're going to be able to become independent from grocery stores by what you might be able to grow.
First, are soil deficiencies, requiring fertilizer. Second, pests: insects and/or mice, rats, raccoons, possums, rabbits...you get the picture. And finally, if you are growing a seasonal crop (not the case with herbs), recognize that you only benefit once per year, if you are lucky.
This isn't meant to discourage you, by any means. There's a lot of joy that comes from growing something yourself. Just don't put any pressure on it that it has to sustain you and/or replace what you purchase from the grocery store.