Oh lord help me lol.

Quick Background: HR hires em', then sends them to my account.

What Happened: So today I was in for a treat apparently. My new employee has arrived and I tell her where to go on the phone.

In walks a obvious lesbian, hair with homemade dyes of every color of the rainbow, pants baggier than most street kids and I'm not even kidding, an overwhelming smell of cat piss.

My underling who knows I'm based AF choked on his coffee and made a quick exit to his office and left me stranded to welcome this new employee lmao.

I'm not even kidding you guys, when we sat down to do paperwork, holy crap this was a shit show. EVERY single page had it's rounds, but the more notable ones I can remember were:

-Social Security #: "I don't want to give you it because it's a capitalist's tracking device."

-$1 a month to a well known Charity we do annual donations to: She marks "no". I ask why: "Your company makes millions of dollars a year and they can donate if they care so much, way more helpful than my dollar."

-Paid Holidays: She freaking crossed out Thanksgiving and wrote Indeginous People's Day

Guys lol, wish me luck on this one! I think I'm going to need it and A LOT of patience.