(In my best Dr. Fauci voice) “So da reason I, as in myself, King President Lord Dr Fauci, advises agains da Johnson & Johnson vaccine is that you only need da 1 shot and maybe 1 boosta. I think it’s safa for every American to get vaccinated using da Pfizer or Moderna vaccine and multiple boostas in each arm, each leg, once in da juggla vein, and den vaxxed in each eye. And doing it all at once iz da most healthy, smartest way to protect others from you, and protect yourself from others. Then like 1 week afta you get your vaccines, start on da boostas. And not just 1 boosta in each limb, but boosta weekly in each limb. You don’t stop da weekly boosters until I tell you all too, or you reach max protection. Once you turn pale, near death white, and are vomiting daily you’ve reached da 75% max protection. Dats when we start you on a daily boosta regiment to finish you o…..uh I mean finish off dat last 25% to reach maximum protection. Once you’ve gone beyond white deathly pale to constant yellow due to dat liver failing from da daily boostas, and your veins feeling as if they’re going to spontaneously combust, then you’ve reached 99% protected. To get dat last 1%, to get ova dat last edge to reach total safety, you must den boosta every houa on da houa for 2 days. At that point you’ll keel over so deathly tired from all da chemicals burning your insides out, but you must boosta on. To be a true Patriot and save your fellow Americans and family, you gotta just take dat last boosta the size of a 64oz Big Gulp, and dats it! You’ve reached 100% protected from Covid. Most likely you’ll be dead wit-in 1 minute later, but for 1 minute, you’ve done your patriotic duty, saved America, and will now save the rest of us oxygen! I mean how great is dat? Just be safe, follow da plan I just laid out, and you’ll be Covid free.”
(In my best Dr. Fauci voice) “So da reason I, as in myself, King President Lord Dr Fauci, advises agains da Johnson & Johnson vaccine is that you only need da 1 shot and maybe 1 boosta. I think it’s safa for every American to get vaccinated using da Pfizer or Moderna vaccine and multiple boostas in each arm, each leg, once in da juggla vein, and den vaxxed in each eye. And doing it all at once iz da most healthy, smartest way to protect others from you, and protect yourself from others. Then like 1 week afta you get your vaccines, start on da boostas. And not just 1 boosta in each limb, but boosta weekly in each limb. You don’t stop da weekly boosters until I tell you all too, or you reach max protection. Once you turn pale, near death white, and are vomiting daily you’ve reached da 75% max protection. Dats when we start you on a daily boosta regiment to finish you o…..uh I mean finish off dat last 25% to reach maximum protection. Once you’ve gone beyond white deathly pale to constant yellow due to dat liver failing from da daily boostas, and your veins feeling as if they’re going to spontaneously combust, then you’ve reached 99% protected. To get dat last 1%, to get ova dat last edge to reach total safety, you must den boosta every houa on da houa for 2 days. At that point you’ll keel over so deathly tired from all da chemicals burning your insides out, but you must boosta on. To be a true Patriot and save your fellow Americans and family, you gotta just take dat last boosta the size of a 64oz Big Gulp, and dats it! You’ve reached 100% protected from Covid. Most likely you’ll be dead wit-in 1 minute later, but for 1 minute, you’ve done your patriotic duty, saved America, and will now save the rest of us oxygen! I mean how great is dat? Just be safe, follow da plan I just laid out, and you’ll be Covid free.”