"domo arigato gozaimasu"

I am sorry to bother you, great one, but something has been pulling at my consciousness, almost like a splinter in my mind.

I am impelled colossally by mystical forces beyond the a-priory notions of self and even time and space to quantify the statistical breakdown of chokes that you have succumbed to.

How did they stack up numbers wise? Was there a statistical mean? Was there a choke that consistently had your number?

Did the most complex object in the known universe (the human brain(your brain)) go gentle into that good night as a result of a Guillotine choke? Was it a Von flue choke, a Darce or an Anaconda?

Did you get Gator rolled into unconsciousness or was it a Rear naked choke, as previously discussed? Was it a standing Guillotine up against the fence? Did someone's thighs gently coerce your head to enter a slumber in a Head scissors choke?

Did you get triangled from someone's guard or were you completely owned by a gogoplata like the great Nick Diaz pulled off against Takanori Gomi in pride 33 (one of the last great pride fights before the organization collapsed)? *Incidentally this result was overturned, in a ridiculous decision and became a No Contest because Nick tested positive for Marijuana.

Were you training wearing a Gi and so got caught in an Ezekiel choke, a Clock, a Loop choke, a Cross collar, a Brado or a step over choke?

Was it a Crucifix, a Necktie or a fisherman's?

Please enlighten me as to the severity and nature of your travails so that I may avoid the pitfalls of getting choked the fuck out.

Your deferential and reverent acolyte.

GizzardPuke.