My son married a lovely, smart girl who was raised in a liberal midwestern family that by all appearances are typical upper middle class. Father is CEO of a foundation, the mother an RN that works with a local family practice. Wonderful people. Charming, bright, educated, hard working and love the good life. Oh, and are liberals, important point.
The mother is convinced that Covid is truely a deadly disease because she has seen so many people die from it. Her husband, a big strapping guy spent over a month in the hospital from it. So, to her everything in life is Covid. It's the central focus of every discussion. Because she's a nurse, she feels she's the one with the most knowledge about this deadly disease and at liberty to set some standards when it comes to any get togethers.
This weekend my son and wife were planning a birthday party for their only child. The wife miscarried 2 months ago after being fully vaxed. But no problem because her mother said the two aren't related because she's the nurse and knows. My wife and I were planning on attending the party until my son called this morning and said, "Dad, don't shoot the messenger". You can guess what was coming. His mother-in-law was requesting all that attend the party be Covid tested first. I thought for a moment and said that we wouldn't be coming then. He said, but Dad you can get one of those quickie tests at CVS no problem. I said why would I, I'm not sick?
Then I said, listen son. My life doesn't revolve around Covid. I asked, when were you last tested for smallpox? polio? You do realize that people who think everyone needs to test when they are not sick are suffering from a mental illness? The science shows that the people who carry the highest Covid viral load are those fully vaccinated, not those unvaccinated. My wife and I are not vaccinated nor will we be. We will not be pushed into getting a test that isn't accurate when we don't feel sick either. It's a matter of principle. We had no problem being there because we don't care if they're vaccinated or not. It's a personal matter and that's it.
I said we will see our grand daughter some other time when they're not around to get our imaginary cootie bugs. Sorry, but I will not be bullied, pressured or anything else to satisfy someone else's insecurity and need for control. We don't roll like that. We love you, your wife and our grand daughter so we'll see you some other time.
"But Dad, Betty (not her real name) is concerned because she has seen so many friends die." Son, that's because her friends were never given a script for HCQ or Ivermectin early when they first got sick. Their doctors never told them to take Vit D, C, and zinc. Then, when they got to the local hospital they were given Remdesivir like her husband. Probably, one of the worst things they could have been given. It destroys kidneys. Betty thinks she knows what's best but I assure you, she knows nothing of the science. She follows protocols which are wrong. Exasperated, he says I hope this doesn't destroy my daughter's relationship with you and mom. It won't but we draw the line now because I don't set conditions for them nor should they for us.
Covid destroys minds more than any other part of the body. I won't be bullied regardless, nor will I or my wife give in to pressure. Starting down that road then leads to show your vax card to enter. No thanks. We're just a couple of loving grandparents who have their standards, their morals and their common sense. I won't give them up even if it means I'll miss seeing my lovely grand daughter. Sorry, I don't drink Kool Aid. Never liked the stuff nor will I in the future.
Well it's the queen's mother setting the conditions by which I can visit my grandchild. Shortly after my son's marriage they came to visit and her parents came too. We got together at a super overpriced restaurant that my son had asked that I make reservations at. I did and when the queen's mother asked that we get a third $100 bottle of wine and oh, she didn't like domestic Chardonnay but wanted the French instead which was even more expensive I looked at my son across the table and saw him nodding his head yes. So I made the second mistake that evening, the first being agreeing to go to this pretentious burger joint. Bottom line it cost me $600 that night. But I learned a lesson. You don't give in with this woman. So, it's not about observing a cultural norm with her, it's she's spoiled and wants to get her way. I'm not going down that road again.
Where’s her husband? She needs a talking to!
Bless you for standing your ground. People like that are insufferable. Hoping your son can do a special bday get together for you and your wife.
He did. We're seeing them the following day. My granddaughter will love having 2 birthday parties! It's great, less people = more time with her and my other 2 granddaughters coming with my unvaxxed daughter and son in law.
So happy to hear!
My question is why did you pay for everyone's dinner? You pay for yours & your wife's, and so do the other couples. Heck they are the ones that wanted to eat there in the first place. If she wanted the expensive ass wine, then that's on her tab not yours, she is the one ordering it. You could have just said to her to go ahead and order all the wine she wants as long as she is paying for it.
Sorry I don't have many filters, lol. I'm sure my husband sometimes cringes wondering when my mouth will spurt something that is controversial in public to someone he works with. He would be like don't mention this or that, and I say I make no promises, lol. Sometimes I will make it easy on him and not go with him to certain gatherings because I know there will be someone there that I may not be able to hold back my comments to.
Sometimes you do things for the sake of your child. My son went through a long string of girlfriends before finding one. We like her a lot, except for her politics. We wanted to extend the hand of friendship so I wanted to cover the cost of dinner with her Mom and Dad. I didn't mind until the Mom pulled the "whine about the wine" so to speak. But again, our only son had finally found the love of his life and we wanted to be gracious hosts. My takeaway was that the mother-in-law gets what she wants in that house. We've only been together a couple times in the past 3 years and not since Covid started. Funny, just prior to Covid I remember speaking with her and saying something about an allergy symptom I had and she had this snap comment that it was something else and I should take this certain medicine. I remember thinking hmm, this woman knows nothing about me but because she just got her M.S. in nursing she can diagnose and prescribe something. I ended the conversation there because I had heard enough. The med she said I should take I knew interfered with another thing I was on. So immediately it told me all I needed to know. I wasn't asking for her advice but she quickly gave it anyway. She wanted to show me how smart she was. She showed me the opposite.