Everybody has a superpower
(media.greatawakening.win)
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My power is to shoot massively high power destructive beams of energy out of my erect penis.
It's really not the best power. When I see crime, I have to whip it out and try to get it ready, which is harder than you might think in public! Just imagine if the bad guy gets away before I get it up, people just think I'm some kind of pervert!!!
The police usually get called, and YOU try explaining this power to them. If the cop is female and beautiful, I have no trouble getting away, but how often does THAT happen?
Why am I running from the cops anyway? I'm the good guy! I'm doing it to stop an evildoer!
I've also had a few unfortunate accidents with the ladies... body parts just everywhere, hole in the wall so the neighbors can see... really unfortunate...
Why oh why couldn't the beams just come out of my eyes or my fingers or something!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!