Well, there was a trigger. I had been divorced for a year due to an abusive spouse. One day around that time, he came to tell me he was now dating my former best friend. I wouldn't have cared if he dated anyone else. This was the only girlfriend acquisition that was capable of causing me pain. This was dual disloyalty, she who held my hand during the painful, but necessary split. The one who told me I would feel better after leaving, because he was a terrible person who didn't know how to love anybody. It rang a loud bang in my psyche louder than any other previous life blows. Subsequently I learned this is not so uncommon in breakups, that one's former trusted friend takes up with one's ex. Plus he had the gall to tell me he was still in love with me while he was busy establishing his new source of narcissistic supply. But that's enough of that sordid tale. I'm not the only victim of such things.

My mother was a narcissist, and this is what had programmed me to be targeted by another abusive narcissist whom I married. While I was trying to process the devastation, my mind had some clarity:

My mother was unable to love me.

My husband never really did.

My friends are not my friends.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

One night not long after that, I somehow met the God of the Bible. I never understood church or the Bible, so I wasn't into it. All of a sudden, I was able to see certain basic Biblical truths: my lifelong spiritual ignorance and in-born sinfulness, being absolutely deserving of Hell, the reality of the One True God, who had sent Christ to suffer for me, even though I had always been Christ rejecting. These revelations came from somewhere outside of me and were deposited in my mind like "bricks of truth."

Finally I could take up scripture and understand what it reveals about Christ and salvation. None of this was of my own doing. It came to me as a free gift. My understanding increases over time, and I learned about free grace vs free will, Christ vs Anti-Christ, and the political, economic/financial and religious realities that make up the fabric of what is called Mystery Babylon, or what Q describes as the Cabal.

I believe that Christ saved me from my wretched self, that the Father eternally loves all whom he has chosen, and the Holy Spirit produces the "first resurrection," in the timing of God's choosing, which is spiritual regeneration. When Christ returns, all the heirs of heaven will receive a bodily resurrection, also called a "glorified" body.

Sorry to write a booklet. You sincerely asked, so I decided to plow ahead in case it should prove to be edifying to anyone.