For me it comes and goes... an overwhelming sense of hopelessness seems to creep up on me, and I have to fight through it.
Yes, Jesus is my source of hope. But I am human. I have a need to stay informed, and yet it wrecks me often, due to the evil I discover.
Even knowing that Jesus has won, that we have won, that we are winnning... these are such "far away" concepts in the face of the ugliness that we see unveiled every day.
So much energy goes into keeping a grasp on all that is happening, so as to be able to red-pill others and to protect my family. That's how I am wired. Can't help it.
So I find my balance this way: I try to limit my time here (rather than just an all day constant presence), and I pray for wisdom and strength. I also choose to live as an example of goodness (and I am not perfect!). These things keep me sane.
I wrote this because I assume many struggle with this balance... and I just wanted to encourage everyone to hang in there, and take a moment to acknowledge the challenge and to strategize about how best to maintain the balance for yourself.
If we are not mentally, emotionally, and spiritually strong when the shit really blows up, then we will not be the shepherds I believe God is calling us to be.
I am very confident that what you described has played out among so many of us here. Thanks for sharing. Stay strong.