Months ago, when the whole jab thing started, my mother and father in law were determined to get it, because TV told them so.
I advised them not to, and that they are going to damage themselves, multiple times, I event told them about how I ended paralised for a month as a kid when I received vaccine back then... Nothing... They went and did it. 3 times. So after that I basically told them I don't want to talk about it anymore.
Now my father in law, months later, as expected, got a serious pneumonia, lost ability to walk, or even sit in bed, lost control of his bowel movements, and ability to talk, so we are taking care of him the best we could trying not to loose our minds in the process... Showing up with a smile, trying to make their life easier, paying for bills, paying for medication, paying for diapers, and food, clipping his toe nails, cutting his hair and beard, changing diapers...
So on top of all that, wife and I were "politely asked" last night to respect my brother in law more, since he feels that "a lot is depending on him". Same brother in law who was organising excursions with the rest of the family to go for a group testing, to see what might be wrong with them... The same guy who cannot lift a bed matrace without having 2 people help him, while wife and I are the ones carrying his immobilised father around... Same guys who can buy both wife and me with his salary but is paying way less for their bad decisions, and the first thing he came to us with was "how are we going to divide the expanses"...
So I snapped, and yelled my lungs off. So my brother in laws, hypochondriac ass was insisting on them getting jabbed. They did it and we are stoically dealing with the damage made, because they are our parents. And I am accused that I am not "respecting" him enough by not being knowledgeable in ins and outs of hospitals and doctors and procedures and not getting the ideas "first" about where to drag the patient, next...
I am not proud of myself, my friends. I did not have "I told you so" moment at any point there. But I think that even the neighbors in next building heard about the boundaries that they will never be allowed to fucking cross with me...
The messed up thing is that I feel like a piece of shit, now, for allowing myself to go full dark mode.
What a story I'm sure many can relate to. What wonderful in-laws you are!
The biological family is so lucky to have you and your help.
You should put all your expenses forward explaining that the rest of your money is to care for your own parents. Explain you do not expect them to take care of your parents monetarily or physically.
If they don't want your help they are free to ask you to go away.
Did they not realize all you have done that you have written here even though they are witness to it all.
When we lose our parents kids go crazy that is normal!
Perhaps if you took a step back, they would realize your value and how much help that you gave to the family.