I'm glad to hear that, mengderen. I know a number of people who have had similar experiences from various forms of therapy, or from AA -- which often goes well along WITH other forms of therapy -- and from following through on their own with things they've read. As I say above,

Understanding can be helpful in the present, just as other defenses can be

There's been a lot of ingenuity in creating different approaches to helping people deal with their feelings. Defenses aren't bad -- we couldn't function without them.