Sometimes the first step toward empowerment is realizing you are a victim of the other party, that you aren't "in it together" as you'd believed, but that the other party is not the good and supportive entity they'd presented themselves to be, but is purposely lying to you, gaslighting, exploiting, and abusing you. Once you realize you are not dealing with an entity operating in good faith who has "made some mistakes," but an abuser who is purposely harming you, you are in a better position to defend and protect yourself.