Just when you feel that you are imprisoned by circumstances, be patient with yourself and realize that you may not be imprisoned at all...your eyes just wouldn't allow you to see the doorknob to the door to freedom.

Don't listen to the voice in your head that says you have no options. You have options, there are always options and free will. If you're worried about the future and how you will be able to separate yourself from this person and be financially independent, then consult with a divorce attorney. Get an idea of what your situation really is before assuming the worst. You may be better off than you believe. Also there are some social programs that provide financial assistance for people with long term illnesses. There are options. Look for your doorknob.

Even if you feel totally alone at this moment in time, chances are that you have a group of people who would be very sad if you weren't around. They are your support structure. Call some of them and talk through some of your problems. When you're load is too heavy many friends are willing to share the load just like you would for them when they are dealing with trouble. Even if they don't "seem like the type" who would listen, they may surprise you.

Speak frankly with your husband. Don't rule out that your perception of who he loves and how much could be incorrect. All of us have our view of the world distorted from time to time with our own personal insecurities...see if you can take a step back and logically confirm of deny that he is more "in love" with someone other than his wife. Guys are dumb sometimes. His ex-girlfriend may be manipulating him to make it appear that he likes her more just to screw with him. Ex-girlfriends are crazy like that. He might not be aware that he's a chess piece on her chessboard.

It would be an incredible tragedy for someone as amazing as yourself to have your story end here when there is so much more for you in your life and your future. Please give yourself some patience and think things through before doing something that you may regret or hurting people who you never intended to hurt. Many of us know of someone who killed themselves during COVID. Please, please, please believe me when I say that better things are sure to come.

I can't spare you the pain that you are going through right now but I hope that you know there is some stranger out there who wants you to be ok. I hope that this virtual hug helps you through your trying times.

Yet another reason to forget him right now, you need to keep your stress down. And keep your problems separate in your mind, don't let the causes and solutions get mixed up.