Xiden is my Shepherd, I dwell in want.

He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.

He leadeth trucks into the still wildernesses.

He restoreth my fears.

He leadeth me into the paths of international disgrace for her ego’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution and war, I will find no exit, for thou art in office.

Thy lies and thy wars they comfort me all the days of my life.

Thou preparest an agenda of deception in the presence of thy religion.

Thou anointeth my head with foreign oil.

Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow me all the days of thy term.

And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.