I had an entire long exposé typed last night, espousing God's grace to me and I fell asleep and deleted my testimony. Doh
I've been healed from 45 yrs of PTSD! It's not PTSD...it's cPTSD. PTSD never encompassed ME. cPTSD is as if I wrote the whole signs/symptoms/sequelae myself. I not crazy. Wow. Not paranoid anymore. I've always thought everyone hated me...they dont!! I can look in a mirror again!!! (And I'm extremely handsome! 😂😂😂) I have my family back. A happy house!!!
"Complex" from lifelong trauma beginning as a child. Had no defenses in place... only trust and dependance and they were quashed. Betrayal is alln i6ve ever known...but MAN betrayed me. Not God. He held me and cried as I endured. I was never alone.
I like me now.
I can leave the porch.
I can go to stores.
ALL of my chronic pain is gone!!
No spontaneous weeping or anxiety.
The list is too lengthy.
I rarely pray for me anymore. I spend my time in PRAISE for victories, grace, patience, love and all this God has bestowed upon me...even thru the hell. Thank Him for ALLOWING you to suffer...it's the least we can do. I just pray that my feet are placed where He wants them.
Never give up! 45 yrs I waited. It was worth it all.
The last 20 yrs have been a living hell, throughout which I acted ok and just persevered in pain. I'm free.
(A special THANK YOU to Ashlanddog...he was the 1st cog in God's healing process for me. One never knows how our words are used for good for the will of God)
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, FRENS!!!
Sorry if I've been a butthole at times. Really. j
I've been attacked many times. Since i was 8. It used to compel me to literally hang myself with my belt. 3x. Tiny nail. I'm alive. I was 8 and happy happy happy! I've only recently told anyone this story. Not telling mom! My brother didn't fair so well. Same hallway. 1983.
And we were raised in Congo by medical/Christian missionaries. Been under attack since 65.
Other brother o.d.'d in 74.
Pissed the devil off bad when my parents gave up everything, semimary x4yrs here, learned 2 languages in 2 yrs in Brussels and moved to the middle of Tarzan's backyard lol Crazy Tennesseans. .....
Since I, for the umpteenth time, gave it BACK to God and pulled my hands all the way out of the situation this time, and let God lead and do the fighting while I praise and obey is a powerful weapon.
It's slunk away. My guard is up. Solid ground.
Thank you.
Perseverance.
Romans 12:12
Read about Jehoshaphat...