Putin Has Aide Retrieve His Poop and Carry It Around to Prevent Enemies From Discovering Health Problems (I shit you not...howls...sorry I couldn't resist....)
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Poop is also a code word for info. As in, from one soldier to another:
Pvt: "What's the 'poop' today, Sarge?"
Sgt: "Oh, you know, the usual. Command says nothing going on, so...train, train, then train some more, Pvt. Now...get back to fucking work!"