I totally understand. When I was in high school I had my first boyfriend whom I was madly in love with. I was only allowed one date out with him by my mom and stepdad who didn’t like him as he was older. We had planned to get married when I finished high school but my parents forced me to break up with him and said I could never see or talk to him again. Two months after I graduated, he was murdered and written off by local corrupt cops as suicide. No on can hang themselves with their hands tied behind their backs. One friend said he had talked to them an hour before he was found and was excited to find me and go get married as I had sent messages through friends.