Question for the group. Has anyone here adopted a child before. If so. How was the process, cost, is there any support u get after.
Just curious because i see many liberals attacking adoption and feel its a good time to analyze and fix this process and it starts with being aware of how it currently fuctions.
I'm only an observer. Long, long ago, like 70 years, it seems to me that adoption must have been easier, both formally and informally, because I knew adopted kids, I remember big established orphanages, people talked about doing it like it wasn't the struggle u/penisse described, I had an adopted relative or two. I know one thing that would happen was that doctors (and these are GPs) and attorneys would hook up expectant unwed mothers with prospective parents. No doubt money changed hands and there was a lot of personal bias involved. You can imagine how this could cover for trafficking or lead to unfortunate matches. For instance, I remember an adopted girl in grade school, about 8, and her parents were quite old. My parents thought it would ultimately be bad for her as they would be dead or need care when she was reaching adulthood. She was also massively spoiled.
Anyway, this system got a lot of children adopted into families. I don't remember foster care other than orphanages. But the lack of standardization and screening led to reforms, which led to the bureaucratic monstrosity of today.
This was very well put. Thanks. So how do we balance things so they dont go in either extreme
No idea, but we may be back to this surplus of unwanted babies and should think about it. Orphanages are not necessarily bad, certainly more stable than foster care. Otherwise it seems to me that the old system worked with larger, tight families, where often someone's little mistake could be adopted by an aunt or cousin, perhaps totally bypassing a legal process. Also, in the past doctors and attorneys, who are going to be necessary to an overall solution, were not cogs in a group process, they were confidants and ombudsmen. Possibly more morally directed. To protect the children, we need to identify the ones that will hurt them. The wokesters now are concerned with cultural matches and stuff that is less pressing.
but we may be back to this surplus of unwanted babies and should think about it.....<<<this was part of the reason I made this post. Definitely something we all need to come together on and figure out.
Ok this might be a dumb question. What's the difference between foster care and orphanages. I guess I'm not informed enough because I thought they were the same thing just different name
I agree identifying the evil ones is a huge step we need to take.
Orphanages are stick and brick, permanent homes for children, like Boys Town. The one I remember was run by nuns and was a large collection of beautiful brick buildings on several acres of well-landscaped land. They have sometimes been horrific centers of abuse, like some in Ireland where illegitimate children are scorned and nuns deliberately killed children. Before that, there were workhouses as in Oliver Twist. They did need oversight. The better ones have small "homes" in the whole collective, where a group can develop cohesion and history, and also where abuse can more easily be spotted.
Foster care is parcelling out children or adults to caregivers, usually in a home setting. Fewer children. The smaller numbers and home setting are the pluses. Otherwise, the government is running it with all the problems that come with bureaucracy and there is no guarantee for the clients that they will stay. They get shuffled around a lot, some of them. Sometimes it is because they are just very hard to care for, and many develop emotional and behavior problems. Sometimes it is the whim of case workers. Many in foster care have parents and were taken from them by CPS, so there is an associated legal battle. I might add that adopted children also sometimes are rejected by their adoptive parents and get shuffled back into foster care or readopted. Truly, I think this is worse than less-than-perfect parents and that virtue signaling by both would-be parents and caseworker contributes to it happening.