I just had a real rough week or so...long story id rather not get into but was in jail from july 5th until i got bonded out today... the first few days was agonizing.
But, then i decided to ask for a bible. Im about 500 pages in, with a promise to him that im going to finish it. Found many parts that told me what I needed to hear already, and ive made some vows to God that I fully intend to keep. Among them being I am going to get baptized and find a church family.
I was already ready to welcome God into my life, but wasnt fully committed. I am now. But, coming here every day and seeing all the love for him was a huge impact on me already starting to come to that decision before the events that happened led me to where I am now.
Yeah honestly my battles got much harder when I was just entertaining the idea that I wanted God in my life and heart...so, once I start putting words into action I have a feeling I'm gonna be seeing even harder ones (I could be looking at a pretty lengthy stay in Jail when all this goes to court, for one) but... I'd much rather go into those battles with God than see where I'd end up without him.
I have things that will take the rest of my life to work on... an extremely addictive nature (mostly alcohol but that stretches into other elements as well), Lust, A temper that rages at times, the list is a long one. But, a life seeking improvement is better than one spent content in Sin.