Just wanna thank yall for helping me keep the faith during the toughest part of my life. I was neck deep in depression for awhile but my head stayed above water. Things are starting to turn around...
went to an interview yesterday and got the call today that I start Monday,even though we were far from anything close to rich found out today my grandpa I took care of was able to leave me a fair amount of money that'll cover all the financial ends of my legal troubles, and I get my 30 days sober chip tomorrow.
Yeah, very much. The alcoholism actually got where it did because it just hurt to see him suffer so much in his final stage. He had muscular dystrophy, among many other issues, so he was helpless for awhile now, so I was by his side getting him through the day every day. In the 11 years that was my role, we got to know eachother extremely well.
But now it's a new chapter in my life so I'm leaving the bottle behind as I grow
Yeah the main reason I kept it around is because I moved from Colorado to rural Kansas to take care of my grandpa so most everyone I knew was out of state. But, grandpa passed last Monday and I'm now much closer to the city, so I actually have people around me. I started attending church now that I have one nearby, and a family already actually invited me to lunch after the service last week. I've also been attending AA daily and met some good people there.
I've been on a 30 day ban from Facebook, July was a rough month - so I hopped on just to give my close people an update and let them know I was doing alright. But...a month without that cesspool reminded me how garbage it is. Within 5 minutes of scrolling I was like "do I really wanna be back here?" Lol
Considering Friday will be 30 days without booze in my life, I think this is a good time to dump fb, since it's just another bad habit that does more harm than good.
Well, the first 9 days are a technicality since I was in jail lol but hey a day sober is a day sober
But yeah when I don't want to drink the days definitely add up much quicker vs when I approached it as "I want to but I cant"
Day by day I'm rewiring myself to a life without alcohol and all the mental and physical problems that came with it. In such strange times, it's definitely a relief to have my anxiety and depression under more control. When I was drowning sometimes it was easy to just wanna give up. But... can't sleep now, the future needs me.
Well I still got an hour till Saturday guess I'll chime in lol
As it gets closer to a week since I lost my Grandfather, I still get hit with waves of sadness about it out of nowhere...but, I know the one thing he wanted for me was to break away from my alcoholism...so- hitting 3 weeks now is something I know he'd be proud to see. On the plus side of dealing with the loss...it's made me not focus and dwell on how screwed up the world is. I kind of have tunnel vision and I'm only focused on my own little world.
I came into a new chapter of my life wether I liked it or not, my grandpa I took care of for 11 years passed, and I knew if I turned to drinking to handle that it would probably break me and finish destroying my life
I definitely know the game of quitting just to be roped back in.. multiple hospitalizations for pancreatitis couldn't even get me to quit
When I moved from grandpa's I ended up just a 3 minute drive from AA meetings so I didn't waste no time- got here on a Thursday and began attending the meetings on Friday and been going every day since. Also went to church for the first time that Sunday, so between the two they've helped alot