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Sunnywindows 5 points ago +5 / -0

You are right, and I’d like to comment from the perspective of a psychotherapist.

When you say “Learning to control our emotions,” I think you are really talking about learning to control our thoughts. What we think about, like imagined conversations, beliefs, daily attitudes…. These are what start the emotions going.

And if emotions get triggered (by events or thoughts) what we think in that moment can either ramp them up or calm them down.

Noticing our thoughts daily, working on challenging long held negative beliefs when they show up, focusing on problem solving not blame, these practices help us to remain centered and to be prepared for any event that comes along.

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queue-anon 1 point ago +1 / -0

how do you "challenging long held negative beliefs when they show u"

in practice? Do i write down why the negative belief is wrong, several times a day for a long time?

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Sunnywindows 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yes, that’s a good idea. Also, when you identify the negative belief, write a positive statement that counteracts it. Repeat that positive one often, and try to feel the good feeling it brings you. Eventually, it will be “programmed into your brain” and the new belief, with the new feeling will be your first thought, and you won’t have to fight the negative thought anymore. It’s like your new programming will overwrite the old programming. It takes effort and time, but it works. It took me a year one time before I realized my work had paid off and I no longer was daily criticizing myself.

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10lbsBass [S] -2 points ago +2 / -4

Controlling our emotional state through meditation and breathing exercises will quiet our mind and allow us to monitor our thoughts more easily. Better to be proactive than reactive.