Well I was going to dm you but i cant figure out how to do so on mobile.

A little back ground..

In 2018 i started at a new police department and the reception from one particular individual was so toxic and ridiculous and I let it get to me really bad which caused other work related issues. Add on top of that my, now, wife was going through something of her own that was pulling her away from me.

What was causing that, or maybe even who, at this point, isn't important. Once we resolved whatever was going on, when I put my foot down and said get it together or go, we've been great since.

Those were two big things that were causing a LOT of stress at the exact same time. And i mean A LOT.

FF 2019. things are great. Grumpy ass hole has retired. Wife and i had awesome beach wedding and are doing fine.

FF....

during time of blm riots I start getting really frustrated and all out angry. Engaging with people on Facebook and so on about the situations when i normally wouldnt give two shits and just keep on. Looking back my wife said i was angry easy at that time, didnt seem like myself, and was always in a bad mood. (Most of this is a blur to me, or at least how she precieved me was a blur to me)

Late june 2020 I start having really bad head aches that I continue to medicate with Tylenol and dont think much of.

Early July 2020, like the seventh of july, i get into my car after the gym and have a siezure. Wake up to emts doing their thing

Same day told i have a brain tumor size of small strawberry. Right side, right on top, easy for biopsy and removal thanks to its well defined boarders. likely metastic blah blah but need biopsy to know more.

Biopsy results show an alleged GBM. second university opinion says small gmb in a benign setting. Feel a little better now but still sucks.

August of 2020 removed via surgery, start post surgery oral chemo and radiation.

Always keeping positive except when I got really constipated!

Back at work by the end of OCT 2020

Have a few break through siezures (little uncontrollable muscle spasms until find proper dosage of anti siezure meds) Brain apparently still healing. 3 months was quick doctors say but i was determined to continue life and living.

Here i am today 2 years post OP and treatment with, knock on wood, clean scans ever since and I try my hardest to just live my best day to day appreciating my children and wife. My life. Praying every day for some more to share with them. Doing pretty good about not worrying about things I cant control. Laughing at workplace drama and stupidity rather than stressing about it.

I type all this out to hopefully provide a better insight into my situation because im truely interested in what your saying.

The residual effects have been boughts of anxiety from time to time. Usually managed by breathing and relaxation. If bad enough, with prescribed, as needed, ativan.