Perhaps re read the words YOU chose OP.

Your self described "instant reaction" to choices you immediately didn't like was to call those choices "retarded".

Perhaps self reflect using your own words; " the fact is that ad hominems, whether overt or covert, do not belong in rational debate/discussion".

Practicing what you're preaching will improve your ability to be authentically persuasive and/or heard more clearly. This is, of course, true for everyone.