https://stevekirsch.substack.com/p/the-case-against-fluoride
A short substack column but long enough to provide details, sauce, and suggestions, including how to filter flouride out of your water. The situation with flouride is similar to that with the "vaccines", as Kirsch describes:
Get your town to stop fluoridating the water. It’s poison. You will have to overcome the same disbelief you get when you tell people the COVID vaccines aren’t safe.
Change the law in your state to outlaw fluoridation. Like vaccines, the science is crystal clear when you look at it; but nobody wants to look at it. After we take down the COVID vaccines, people will hopefully be more receptive to looking at the risk-benefit here.
Sounds to me like you're making the right call. The consequences of infection are guaranteed to be bad, while the risks of anesthesia are very low. It sure is crazy how one kid can be totally fine, and another has a bunch of issues. There are genetic and other factors at play which elude our understanding.
That said, if she's getting cavities this young, make sure she's brushing twice a day (electric toothbrush is ideal) and flossing at least once a day. Tons of kids get cavities between their teeth. Hygiene you can control.
Milk is much better than juice if she wants something to drink.
There is a company, their website is "carifree.com" and they've got a treatment rinse called CTx4, which is great for people with a high caries rate. Doesn't taste great but is quite effective. Good luck