I'm struggling.
And to cope, I (ab)use substances, like alcohol, weed and other stuff.
I want to get out, but I'm not ready to accept Jesus as my saviour, because I... well... It's complicated.
I DO accept Jesus as what he is, and that he saves People, a lot.
But...
For the moment, I won't be able to respond to comments in this post, because I'm heading to bed, pretty wasted.
I don't know where this thread will take me, but here we go.
Please, I'd rather not be encouraged to put all my faith in Jesus etc.
I do believe in the Creator, though...
Btw, GAW community...
Thank you for being here the last couple of years.
Edit: Wow, thank you for all your support! Iβll read all of it and will certainly get back to you all. ππ»ππ»ππ»
Start finding another outlet other than substances you put in your body. There are those who tell you meditation will work, or yoga, or walking, or something like that. Find something that works. I did. I never really abused substances or anything like that, although I had every reason to because of physical, sexual and emotional abuse as a child, either from my mother or from the Catholic Church. My recommendation, and it's not for everyone, is classical music. Use headphones if you don't want to bother anyone. Start off with some popular pieces, then graduate to the ones that aren't played very often. I have a hundred examples and won't list them here, but here's one: take a listen to the Adagio from Mozart's 23rd Piano Concerto. Listen to how the piano beckons to the orchestra to come in, and when it does, listen to the gradual and increasing level of power as the orchestra takes over. The piano then responds, and they have a back and forth. They're talking to each other but the piano controls the flow. You have to realize that Mozart created this all in his head and had it completed before he put it to paper. Try that with other pieces. Listen to how Beethoven's music changes as he grows older - it becomes louder, more forceful, as he copes with his increasing hearing loss. Listen to Piano Concerto No. 2, a happy piece, and then No. 3 [my favorite] and you will notice a change to solemness and sorrow. Let the music get inside you and you may notice an overall change in your mental acuity, for the better. Just a suggestion.