Hello. Those who are strong in the Lord can you ask God what the hell I should do with my life because I feel lost and deeply depressed. I'm literally drinking vodka now and I kinda want to kill myself because life seems hopeless. Sorry for being too dark and morbid, it's just how I feel. Drugs are my only escape. Not proud of it, just all I got. Thank you.
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You are in a hole (depression) and digging it deeper with a major depressant, alcohol. Stop digging. If there is a real reason for feeling hopeless, like you lost your job/lover/health, address that instead of your feelings. If there is no clear reason, just feelings of dread, address that by doing little things that give pleasure--pet a dog, clean up some mess that annoys you, go to the trouble to go to the special place where you can get a special treat. Get out, get moving, notice that it only took ten minutes to clean the sock drawer and now life will be a little easier for days. Little steps, little victories, it gets easier with every one.
This.